


i guess it's just another one of those days when i'm missing everything

by rawraaaaa



Category: The Penumbra Podcast
Genre: Crying, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Juno Steel has Some Regrets, Light Angst, M/M, Oh also, Other, Rita is a Good Friend (Penumbra Podcast), Sad Juno Steel, as choice bc i like small letters and i didn't feel like doing things properly, i cannot tag things please comment what i should add to the tags, maybe this is kinda ooc but im not sure, no capitalization, not surprised that that's a tag, this is set in s3 by the way
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-10-24
Updated: 2019-10-24
Packaged: 2021-01-02 09:10:19
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,225
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21159167
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/rawraaaaa/pseuds/rawraaaaa
Summary: juno doesn't feel too well. the crew decides someone's gotta check on him.





	i guess it's just another one of those days when i'm missing everything

**Author's Note:**

> this is my first time posting anything on ao3 please have mercy on me i wrote this last night  
title is from another one of those days by cavetown

juno couldn't get out of bed. he had no energy to move away from the warmth of the covers. yesterday had been okay, yesterday it had been fine. today, though? not good. not at _all_. he had been dreaming. replays of events that had passed, flashes of someone holding him. someone laughing and flirting with him. someone in bed with him. someone he had _left_ in that bed, leaving him to wake up all alone. his heart ached.

_someone_, by the name of peter nureyev.

he had been supposed to be up and getting breakfast with the rest of the crew about half an hour ago. he didn't move. he was greatful that buddy hadn't planned anything for that day, it was a day of rest. still, everyone was supposed to eat together and at _least_ show up to socialize.

eventually, there was a knock on the door to his quarters. 'mistah steel? you there, boss?' rita's voice sounded behind the door.

he mustered up the energy to tell her he was in fact there and awake. 'just not feeling too well, i guess,' he added.

'can i come in then? or are you like, sick? oh, _oh__!_ is it contagious? should i tell captai-' she started, but juno interrupted her.

'no, no. not like that, i just- i just don't feel like coming out right now,' he sighed.

'oh, okay, alright. do you.. want some breakfast at least? captain a said you gotta eat, 'cause she doesn't want anyone on her crew to get malnourished or somethin' like that, boss! it ain't good for ya, you'll feel even worse and we don't want that do we, mistah steel?' she sounded concerned, in that rita-y way. he told her that he didn't feel like eating. she still said she'd go and check for something for him to eat. he tried shouting back that he really didn't want anything, but she had already rushed away to get something to feed him.

she came back minutes later with a tray of scrambled eggs and toast. 'do ya want me to keep you company, boss? i can stay here if ya want, y'know?' she offered.

'no, rita, it's fine, go be with the others. i don't want you to stay here with me when you could be talking to the others and, i don't know, having fun? i'm not really full of sunshine and rainbows right now,' he answered her.

'boss, you're _never_ sunshine and rainbows,' she pointed out, 'buuuuut, i get it, i'll go. hope ya feel better soon, though! just come out here when you feel better or if ya want company, okay?' 

she said bye, and walked off. juno ate a little of the food she had brought, if only to make sure he didn't get crap for it later.

he stayed in his quarters, alone, for a few more hours. the crew grew more concerned, and decided someone should check on him again. despite his protests, the chosen made his way to juno's room.

once again, there was a knock on his door. 'rita i told you, it's fine, you don't have to keep me company when you could-'

'i'm afraid it's not rita, though i _would_ wish to accept the offer of not having to come here, juno,' his voice was frustrated, as if he would rather be doing anything else other than checking on the lady in the room.

'nu- ransom? why the hell are _you_ coming here?' juno replied, surprised, because why _would_ nureyev be checking on him? the ache in his chest came back from earlier.

'buddy asked me to see how you were doing. or rather, _ordered_ me to do so,' he sighed. 'may i come in? or are you going to make me stand in front of the door the whole time?'

'ugh, yeah. come in, i guess,' he said, voice softening. 

nureyev came in, and sat in the chair near juno's bed. he crossed his arms and huffed. 'so, what's going on in that ex-detective brain of yours?' he asked impatiently.

_you,_ is what he wanted to say. _you are the thing that's going on in that brain of mine._ instead, he just sighed. 'ransom, i- i don't know, i just- i had a... dream.'

'have you been in bed _all day_ because of some _nightmare?_ really?' he spat.

'no, not a nightmare, damnit. a dream. it was- it wasn't exactly all bad things, for a change. it was memories from- ugh, it doesn't matter, does it? it was just some stupid memories,' he said, trying to ignore the lump in his throat.

nureyev looked at him, questions forming in his expression. he was obviously curious to know about what juno dreamed about. 'well, if it's hindering you from mingling with the crew or even _getting out of bed,_ clearly they _do_ matter. i suggest you either spit it out, or... file it away, for a later time.'

there was a long moment of silence. nureyev seemed to take this as juno choosing to take his advice to file it away, so he got up from the chair and started going for the door. for a second, juno thought he could just watch him go, after all, he'd done that to him. but he quickly realized he couldn't.

'nur- rans- _peter,_ wait, damnit,' he choked out. this caught nureyev's attention. 'please, wait, don't- don't leave yet,' the thief turned around and looked at juno. 'you,' he said in a low, quiet voice.

'me, _what,_ juno?' he said, mildly frustrated.

'you. i dreamt- i dreamt about _you_,' juno said, swallowing the lump in his throat. his eyes welled up. 'us. our first meeting, that day on the case at the kanagawas. duke and dahila rose. the hotel. so many things. _every_ flash was with _you_,' he was crying now. 'i- i messed up, messed up _big time,_ nure- ransom- whatever the _hell_ you want me to call you- i just- i'm so, so sorry. i-i- i _left_ you there, after i told you i'd go with you,' he sobbed out, not being able to look the other in the eye.

'and- and now you hate me- you get angry when i talk to you and you avoid me and i've tried to get your attention but you won't even look my way unless something of more value is behind me. i don't know what to do, peter. i'm just... sorry doesn't cut it, does it?' he chuckled out, 'it's so funny, isn't it? i'm such an _idiot,_ i had the most _amazing_ man in the entire universe with me, and he wanted to bring me along across the starts with him. and i _left_ him in a _hotel_ room by _himself!'_ he laughed out, hysterically.

nureyev had sat down again. he was at a loss for words. the saddest part was that juno was _ right,_ sorry didn't cut it. but he wished it did. all the feelings he had filed away came _flooding_ out, and then he, too, was starting to let out sobs.

'after i woke up, i told myself to not cry. to ignore it. when i got on the shuttle, i _burst_. i cried for _ hours,_ juno, _ hours,_' he laugh-cried.

there they both sat, crying and laughing as they experienced all their feelings over again.

**Author's Note:**

> the ending felt kinda,, idk. sorry jhfsdffdsf i lost my train of thought


End file.
